Wedding Season is well underway, and what a glorious summer it is for English Summer Weddings. Perhaps you are in the last stages of preparing for your wedding this year, or planning for next year, or even for 2020. Either way, you have probably been to a few weddings already this year, especially if you are in a particular age bracket. Many of them will have been conventional, Civil ceremonies, or church weddings and they will all have been lovely in their own particular way.
I am becoming more and more aware that Weddings can be very very difficult in all sorts of ways, emotionally and psychologically. This can be especially the case when we need to do things in our own way, and differently to other people, but it is also often the case that those of us who choose to do things differently do so because we know ourselves well and we know what we need. Don’t let anyone tell you what you need, except yourselves. It is absolutely nobody else’s business but yours.
When the big day approaches we can feel as though we can’t handle our nerves, or we live with anxiety day to day anyway, live daily with depression and other mental health issues and it can make contemplating the experience quite arduous. I frequently spend a lot of time with people as they talk through the various feelings their wedding day has brought up for them. It can be related to family or previous relationships, their children or trying to meet the needs of too many people. Even decisions about whether Percy the Greyhound can be trusted with the rings, or whether or not to have children at the wedding can be hard to make.
I have never yet had an anxious bride who hasn’t thoroughly enjoyed their big day. Every single one has loved it and has coped with all sorts of things like being the centre of attention, when usually they would avoid the limelight. It really is always alright on the night, I promise. Parents behave themselves too, and all those who question that you are doing things differently in advance will come to you afterwards and eat humble pie and tell you how much they loved it.
Not infrequently, people come to me and say that this kind of wedding is the nicest they’ve ever attended.
If you are planning or approaching a wedding which you are doing ‘your own way’ have the courage of your convictions. Whatever you choose to do, trust your instincts and your relationship. You two are the only people who really know what you need and what you want. Everyone else will behave themselves and they’ll all have a lovely day.
Do what is right for you and you can’t go wrong.